losing it

i dont want to lose you, i dont want to love you. its my fault im here. wish i had never met you, wish i had never fallen for you. everything gets harder with everyday life. im faking everything about me.

Say you dont love me and ill leave.

ive tried running and hiding but you always know where i am. i hate this but my heart says carry on. maybe for once my mind is right. But why tell me, what you told me? i wish i could scoop all these feelings out and give them back to you. i can smell you, your aftershave lingers and i see you infront of me (a distant memory of which i wish was still here)

i wish i could kiss you, call you mine, hold your hand, say to everyone that we have these feeling for eachother but i know i cant. but our lies are ruining me. evrything i write is about u. Ti amo

sometimes when i know im going to see you i want to run away and pretend im not who i am, i keep trlling myself i dont feel like this about u but its obvious i do. im scared you can see through this mesh of emotions that i hide infront of me as a wall to protect me.

too lost in you.